Staying Free of Tyranny and High

in the Head: This is Mature Ana

FAT-FASTING IS THE CURE

 Fear of fat, chaos and intrusion:  I believe Anorexia Psychosa to be a most misunderstood disease, as some  of the characteristics  labeled  �sick� are actually healthy or at least appropriate reactions to the system and predicament she is in:  feelings of constant encroachment.  In this section I will  illustrate this point and up-level the status of the much-maligned and lonely anorexic:  full and food fears, isolation, insulation, cerebrotonia, ectomorphy, food discipline, order and routine, fasting used as a device to overcome, black sheep separation, aversions of lustful advances and aggression combined with eventual celibacy, separation from female culture,  and her perception of many as frogs and toads (to the refined anorexic they seem carnal, absurd, obscene and vulgar).

 

  

INTRO   TO   SOCIETY  AND  GROUPS

 

The issue of anorexia relates to much larger issues about society and groups:  systems theory, how people act in groups, how females are expected to conform, the implications of sexism in family-groups-church, what its like to be an ectomorph in a endomorphic-mesomorphic world, the signs and reactions of healthy individuals to domination,  the acculturation process and how people take it for granted as mundane reality, what they do to outsiders or those who think differently, how female culture treats unique women (i.e. those who refuse to conform to the banal--those fashionable current �truths� which are simply fads of thought) and what it means to be politically-correct and what happens to those who are not.  I say anorexia is the reaction of a hypersensitive who is aware of all of the hurtful nuances of humans in systems and that  the characteristics below are just  appropriate adaptation to that set-up.  I contend that the anorexic doesn�t recover--become a mature lady--until she acquires the Diet of Freedom:  insulation into her own stream.

 

 

FULL   PHOBIA

 

You can't move when out of the energetic groove.  It is very inefficient to be full: all the energy is dragged down to the gut out of the head.  As a birdlike engine, to the anorexic this can be a terrible �drag.�  East Indians laugh at how Americans are always eating and thus bringing energy down  to the gut.  It makes no sense, since keeping that energy high is where you get the genius, the inspiration, the brilliance as the spirit of God comes through, as well as the overcoming power over herd resistances to strength.  Fasting is a matter of synaptic clarity--for pure conductivity to the source.

 

 

What becomes addicting is using food as a means of handling low self-esteem:  eating when one feels �put  down�.  The energy is taken out of the head to avoid the conflict between the real (how we see ourselves) and the  social (how others see us) image.  Eating is avoidance and thus becomes very addicting:  As her situation with family and world  degrades, her eating disorder gets worse since its function is a coping device. 

 

 

She binges so her self-esteem will be tolerable but when full or digesting she loses this power and purges to regain it.  Fasting  soon solves the self-esteem problem through  a much more transcendent, happy view of life.  The anorexic knows this and comes to use fasting to stay �on top� of things. 

 

 

The anorexic knows life is about war.  For self-defense alone she/he  knows the power of a clear brain, an elongated head, a beautiful face drawn taut from the fasting process, the sense of accomplishment that brings the necessary boldness to effect others, the spiritual elevation, clarity and inspiration--all  from fasting.  Fasting is not a sickness. 

 

 

Which group is sick: the eaters to avoid and stultify or the fasters to see and create?  This culture is not into fasting�it is  Dionysian, not introspective, so those who go inside are labeled �sick� so the others can maintain their delusion that �they need to eat.�  The anorexic has fasting consciousness--the others tend towards swine consciousness.

 

 

FOOD   PHOBIA

                                                                                    

for Good Reason

 

 

Even as a young child the anorexic sees the relation between food and discomfort like bloat.  Being birdlike he feels the effects of food far more than heftier peers.  They can eat anything and feel little difference while everything he eats seems to bring fatigue (energy down from the head) or  strength-sapping bloat.  He begins to feel that �all food is poison.�  At first he rejects all food but fruit, which seems pure.  But all-fruit creates cravings and mood swings leading to binges and uncontrollable anger--and great suffering/reverberation in the network. 

 

 

The wise woman won�t stand for that and ends up on a  diet of  non-sweet fruit and fauna which creates stability and  suppresses appetite for long periods of fasting while still maintaining slimness. Tthe recovered bulimic need never be seen eating again nor is it ever necessary to purge [an unnecessary drain, a sin and shame without refrain].

 

 

She�s astute, for food phobia is rational in a herd made mad from wrong foods and obsessions.  GMOs, pesticides, starches:  once one finds the problem it is wise to avoid it.    If she was bulimic she likely gave herself hyperinsulinism and suppressed immunity so as she matures beyond bulimia she may avoid sugars and starches to keep insulin down to eliminate mood swings, constriction, water retention, puffiness, hunger and craving, depression or fatigue.  She seeks health and wealth through food restriction for it can  never be gained through undisciplined eating.  Food phobia is good,  true and very wise.  It�s the difference between a great day and a damned day, so efficiency is not a disease and with bad food she cuts all ties.

 

 

ISOLATION

                                                        

Its hardly a cerebrotonic culture and few embark on an inner journey.  As the culture gets more superficial and shallow it also gets more carnal and vulgar--there is a wider gulf between the inner-driven  anorexic and the fattening culture at �large.�  It is disconcerting being a tiny hypersensitive amidst the bigger and grosser who  all seem to be dominating her life and telling her what to do. 

 

 

As a cerebetomic she hates domination:  as the mesomorphs control and the endomorphs gossip, she feels squashed.  Naturally she seeks isolation and delves into her own reality for even when they fail to find a flaw they forever pull the age card.  There�s no winning in crowds or clans when envy�s all around.

 

 

The anorexic is constantly feeling the tyrannical constraints of relationships.  As she matures she learns how to manage this disposition for a pain-free life.  The issue is  remaining invulnerable,  achieved by being inaccessible and distant.  The control devices that others see as normal she experiences as suffocating and cruel.  As the social culture cajoles her to go out and do more, her solitude becomes ever more desired, inspiring and peaceful. 

 

 

He feels set apart�sanctified, even holy--though persecuted and despised.  It is solitude that develops intuition and if maintained despite all resistances (the conspiracy against privacy) he will win every time.  He is following the steps of  history�s spiritual giants spending years in the desert wilderness.  His true friends help him to glory in solitude and  grow in intuition not  �correct the condition� of �social anxiety personality disorder�.  How many genius cerebs have died through suicide or drugs due to this misdiagnosis we will never know.

 

                                                                            INSULATION

 

 

The world is social but for the hypersensitive, to insulate from chaos is enlightenment:  a safety valve, a survival skill, a protection of one�s own reality.  If self-defense and assertion creates problems (as in a big family) insulation is the only self-defense.  Her emotions are magnified in their presence as she  takes the misfit status, for on every nonverbal level she is  disqualified  and she knows it.  It hurts being psychically attacked by the dominant male view of moral righteousness at her refusal to conform which   is seen as �sin�.

 

 

As the anorexic matures (and having been alone longer) she is surely marching to a different drummer.  That is good--for she�s a walking potentate of something big and so needs  more holy separation and insulation from those elements advising her to join, co-mingle, socialize.  It�s really hard adapting to all those lies!  Any joining would only restrict what is brewing under the surface, if  allowed to develop on its own accord.  The mature anorexic has had it with groups siding against, mocking or stigmatizing her differences.

 

 

 

 CEREBROTONIA

 

 

Only solitude suffices for concentration and creativity.  For the unique cannot conform to groups without cutting off parts of self.  It hurts to tolerate stigma status, so being alone is bliss.  The conspicuous are caustically and constantly misjudged in social cultures, so the recovered anorexic must insist on privacy--for the human herd is tireless in its malignant scapegoating and gossiping.

 

 

When the mature anorexic learns to expect it he finally holds his head up high above the problem, for  to not overcome the human element is to die--this is one illness only maturity can overcome.  If he doesn�t die he becomes the best in which all now invest.  He shapes up by overcoming the herd�s  tendency to think like all one mind, by becoming a majority of one.

 

 

Such insulation is one of the major factors in maturity:  most people cannot sustain it as they run to others for confirmation.  A famous female may be hated, but despite the hostile multitudes if she�s found the True Self she can lead  through aristocratic reserve:  She maintains an inner circle of confidants and a poised, noncommittal and distant though cordial outer circle, and through this  comportment she finally experiences true abundance.

 

 

 

The birdlike engine--the ectomorph--is just naturally cerebrotonic, desiring solitude when the �bigs� desire company.  He has a vertical relation to creative power while the others relate horizontally to man.  It seems a continuous petty fraternity party with him gratefully excluded:  He senses chaos and disorder of the modern world where children lack discipline and as it  grits his nerves he either  worsens  or isolates into golden  productivity.

 

                          

    ECTOMORPHY

 

He was born that way: the ectomorph has far more surface-to-mass area  with the lymph and nervous systems  predominant.  He is �wearing� his nerves and becomes whatever effects him as the social situation becomes acute, chaotic and irritating.  Being so small and easily ticked-off, any added weight becomes an intolerable burden so the immature anorexic becomes unstable, uncertain, unconfident, touchy. 

 

 

She dreams of future prosperity to transcend weighty systems bogging her down just when she feels up.  She feels this ecstasy when alone with just God and her own identity--so reclusion becomes a must, as important as protein in keeping her structured and sane. With her, less is more and might does not make right.  The ectomorph must learn the principals of non-reaction:  let solitude and silence  fight all  battles.

 

                                   

    FOOD   DISCIPLINE

 

 

She was normal as a toddler but later the anorexic is labeled �perfectionist-overachiever� as in this era champions are denigrated--yet victims have status.  She demands discipline in all things especially food since weight irritates a touchy system.  Most dieters get rule-sloppy, and the �rulish� are seen as neurotic.  Without rigid food discipline one never experiences the great rewards of doing so, yet to the herd laxness [no discipline]  seems �righteous�. 

 

 

Is it really wise to eat anything without fear of the consequences--since it affects one's attitude, appearance and work?  Only in a lax liberal society where children hate discipline and chaos reigns.  To soar to the heights you must be rigidly concerned with food combining, sources of food, insulin elevation and periods of fasting.  Yet this is seen as orthoexic.  It doesn�t matter bliss or beauty--to the slovenly socials discipline is sick.

 

 

                              

ORDER   AND   ROUTINE

 

 

Cerebrotonia is fear of chaos.  It is hardly neurotic to see that chaos is  hell and dirty disorder or that order and discipline brings happiness.  But in the new age of lax-seen-as-freedom it seems neurotic and the anorexic soon learns to hide her rigid routines.  If living with others less inclined she may be sabotaged or deliberately messed up to �help her to relax.� 

 

 

For the structured anorexic, living with others can be a harrowing experience and will surely end in relieved isolation.  Her high goals are only possible when free to be a �strict methodist� of military-like routine and order and this means being alone.  Going deep with God means saying no to many surface things--then it�s her soul which sings.

 

 

FASTING  AS   A   DEVICE

 

 

All she wants is what everyone wants:  love, acceptance and space--and in a social culture this is only possible  through solitude.  If that�s not possible she�s learned that fasting works for beauty, self-confidence, wit and transcendence; and that eating and digestion only brings the energy down--a tremendous loss.  Fasting has been used in all religions since the beginning of time--it�s the universal device to get to God�s power and is always followed by reward: like resolution to a problem, overcoming an enemy, success, health.

 

 

In this Dionysian generation of anything-goes you�re-not-going-to-tell-me-what-to-do rebellion against all authority including legitimate rules or  decisions --fasting is definitely a lost art.  I once joined an Atkins discussion list on the internet.  They were all for eating meat, as much as you want and as many times a day as you want, yet when I mentioned combining it with long periods of no-hunger fasting they angrily threw me off the list.  It was extremely telling, for  the joys of fasting ecstasy and bliss is lost in this me-now generation of nothing deeper than the taste-trip.  The anorexic knows the joys, extreme efficiency and sacred spirituality of fasting and this is her grace and blessing--not her disease.

 

 

BLACK   SHEEP   SEPARATION

 

 

The hypersensitive slowly or quickly edges into outlaw or black sheep status from the group as he reacts adversely to what  others see as �normal.�  This is difference enough but adding those of eating habits--like food restrictions or fasting--completely sequesters one from the group.  Whether in family neighborhood or office the ana easily evolves to the conspicuous or cat�s paw.  Like any stigmatized position every act becomes caricatured through misjudgments and gossip--such is the plight of independents acting to truth not conformity, to whom all groups  side against.

 

 

If she knows about insulin and refuses the bread she becomes a sore thumb in circles valuing the �norm�.  All groups and female culture at large act the same way.  If you refuse to conform they mimic, mock, deride, hate and slander.  Stigmata is the price of choosing your own nutrition.  This is the story of her life and the reason she finally refuses to compete on their turf--but remains home-centered where her reality is in control.

 

 

AVERSION  TO   LUST  AND  AGGRESSION

 

Does the anorexic feel superior?  Well maybe just more refined.  Being cerebrotonic he prefers privacy, and lust and aggression are terrible vulgar invasions of the fine.  His motto is �stay fine�stay free.�  In his primitive state he sought love to deal with family rejection, but when mature sees how it then turns destructive and controlling.  As he matures with high boundaries it�s �hands off�.  This defines the new gentleman whose  boundaries are very hard won.

 

 

 Overcoming sick relationships-used-as-emotional escapes while gaining strength and recovery through God is the precedent of success.  The war-torn battleship often ends in celibacy which is marriage to the highest with no mortal infringement.  Sex means officious invasion and distraction from the goal--her highest calling.  As a priest once said, �celibacy is like a garden which after watering becomes more beautiful each day.� She just wants to sleep (in readiness for the next day�s hyper-creativity) when she hits the hay.

 

               

  SEPARATION   FROM   FEMALE  CULTURE

 

 

 

There�s the herd (cultural conformity), then two sub-herds (male and female).  There is far more allowance for uniqueness in the male herd while female culture is a massive impediment to genius.  Feminists may say �women should get up, become, succeed�.  But once one does the hens begin to peck and peck to death.  This dates back to paleo times as all through the centuries females compete for males�to be part of the �superior class�.  Female competition is a real and cruel thing and often the worst sexists are so-called �feminists.�  Am I being cruel here?  Well like the notion of  cruelty itself this is a veiled fact which may take a recovered anorexic to see.  Suffice it to say that many ambitious women end up trusting only men as friends and their sisters the least of all.

 

 

PERCEPTIONS   OF   FROGS,  PIGS  OR  HIPPOS

Loving God or a Gentleman

 

  To the stringently orderly anorexic encased in cerebrotonic peace and rigid diet restrictions the world seems a mess, a monotonous mistake, a monster.  The frog symbolizes the �bed-hopper�: how easily they chum-up together!  Social hall religion she will never understand: the world of banal, bothersome, busybodies seems out-of-touch with their own bodies and bloodstream.    They meet, they eat, they cheat, and while the body loses logic it becomes �loose�:  a lush, a leech, a  lecherous lazy louse.  Is she leery?  Yes, so she makes lists and learns to love herself and  the most refined, which is God or a Gentleman.

 

 

 

The lonely anorexic sees through them all:  The pig is the epitome of swine consciousness, the opposite to self-restraint, let alone fasting.  The hippo symbolizes the agitator who cannot leave well-enough alone.  He gets a little restless and must hit, hate, harass and huff to make his presence felt.  The hippo hates her hard-won and hallowed humming-along in her own stream.  Does she hate people?  No, she�s only a realist who can only take the throne after forgiving it all.

 

 

Anorexia happens to both sexes.  It's mostly about the broken relation to society and mistaken identity in dense herds.  Wrong eating affects everyone and body type means everything when it comes to the food life.   The Dark Night of the Soul was felt by all Saints in history, just like Job.  When in darkness  never light your own fire through people, habit or food but just stop work,  fast and wait on the Lord.

 

KAREN KELLOCK:

CEREBROTONIC

AND MATURE ANOREXIC