System Origins of the Female Hysterical Outburst and Why They Get Sick in Relationships.  How He Keeps Her Down, How She Keeps Him Down, How the Herd Keeps Us Down.

 SYSTEMS THEORY  on pathologic interactions by "The Psychology of Neurotic Interaction" the Ph.D. Thesis of Karen Kellock 1976 from UCI.

 *********

HOW ENERGY IS BLOCKED 

Clear, you multi-adapt to an ever-changing universe and succeed (a perfect hit) every time.  Dense, you mal-adapt through disease, blindness and being hooked.  The True Self is spirit, which is energyit cannot be held down without severe and painful results.  Releasing blocked energy brings self-expressionthe raw talents in the fine design, but Genius is held down by prideful puffed-up powers exalting themselves above God.  Thinking they are God (new age slogan) they are jealous of the talents coming through you.  Its a spiritual war between clear and dense (good and evil).  The involvement of human networks in mental illness has occurred since time began and is the human condition.  Creative energy being blocked by other people has severely painful and traumatic results:  depression, low self-esteem and the compulsion to fail (or ending in a mental institution or jail from exploding tantrums).  This is an urgent problem in an addictive society because for every addict there are four people sick, i.e. the contagion of madness

                         THE POUNCER 

The cruelian demands you love him when you dont anymore.  If you discuss anything he demands you adapt to his logic (and its tragic).  His reality is superior, yours illogical. If he screams and youre silent  to avoid abuse its  hostility.  Its a double-bind situation from which there is no escape.  Hes always looking for an excuse to scream, attack and injure as his cold eyes resemble a wild animal waiting for his moment to pounce.  He loves making you nervous about every word you say.  The pain of persecution from cruelians dissolves when you understand it at this higher level:  by seeing the incredible pressure between his true and false identity we can end the pain caused by troublemakers  who explode with (often polite) cruelty as a bio-device to release the misused energy from maintaining contradiction.  They are helplessseeing this will switch your state from fear to insight.  

Perception prevents pain but refusing to see what is going on allows the cruelian to confuse, cajole and cause you to cringe.  It strikes horrors and brings nausea to the sensitive:  his anxious face, resentful words and empty life which strikes fear like the desolation of hell.  Putting you in recurrent fear is his invisible crime as his defeats become your worries.  Let these outbursts become a blessing, for visions spring from crises!  Use terrible traumas and his tantrums to reveal solutions while giving you the will to act on them, that's resolution.  God doesnt want you to be hurt and destroyed by evilonly seeing through empty (though glittering) social rewards brings joy, so ask yourself:  Do I want to be here with him (them)?  Success comes with seeing through the worlds false front and fun which is pure foolishness.  Once seen, your own sickness goes lean, now you can just walk and enjoy each scene.  It was only denial degrading you  with spouse, family or teen.

THE  CONTAGION  OF  MADNESS

The cruelian is compelled to win the debate, score the ego point, be a hero and demolish his fellows to feel good.  Hes a conquistador.  He wants his wicked ways to work but knows they wont.  In conflict, he cant believe in himself so why should you?  If you do hell hate you for your foolish flattery or fawning over a fake like him, so there is no winning in this situation.   The fool (like you and me) tries to please the cruelian, thinking hell be loved but in so doing he becomes spiritually weak while declaring cruelty as worthy of worship.  Why reward the ruinous and rank?  Some even fear rejecting this misery-maker.  The solution is to realize youre not losing him but only your delusion that you need him.  Detach, alight, see things right.  Never fight just use spiritual mighttranscend like a kite.  Its your awareness alone that subdues those rising up against you, but your blind denial is the glue of gossiping groups who just love to fight.

WEED   YOUR   FRIENDSHIP  GARDEN 

They are either in, or out.  Those who are IN you love, adore, cherish and reward.  Those OUT you avoid, ignore, disconnect.  Out of your circle they have no way to hurt you again.  You decide, right nowfor when all is right with you there will be nothing wrong with your world.  Realize now that it is you who has sent out invitations for this disaster.  Practice IN and OUT for one month.  You will feel more relief than youve ever known.  Once someone is designated OUT your inner man realizes hes a foe or faker and so expects nothing more.  Youll no longer be hurt by unexpected slightsthe King salutes not the foe.  In becoming Queen the outs will never slight you againthey hate you anyway for placating, pandering to and pleading with their sick, silly and sadistic souls.  Some men only love those who can see right through them. So if you want his love designate him OUTonly this brings the respect precursory to love.  Make people win your favor by growing up while never trying to win their fake favor again.!  Your new matrix of IN-OUT will form a new future as good as fame and fortune, for in so getting your world organized the relief from tension will open the floodgates of newfound energylike ocean going through your veins.  Its an easy way of asserting self in sweet silence, as silence says it ALLhe knows what he did anyway so there is nothing more to say.  Your silence is a siren suggesting they spurt up speedily or so long, so-low, Im going solo.  Since all misjudgment is oppression (indicating you married the wrong man), the IN-OUT matrix removes the blocking keeping you from success.

 LABELS AND FABLES 

Take a rattlesnake and call it a kitten.  Its still a rattlesnake.  Ignore his insults and self-flattering labels (braggadocio) and just see realities.  He calls himself a loving Christian to veil his furiously vindictive mind, but just remember its the humanitarian groups which hog and horde power and wealth. Stop believing in his nice guy labels especially those put on popular  people and their petty past-times.  See their inner realmyou cant afford not to for the time is late.  You know how your stomach aches?  Thats your sense of evil all around--high stakes! The cruelian always excuses brutality, thinking hes a right to attack.  He loves to rub your nose in the past or betray a promise, without tact.   When he justifies, he lies.  Worse, his cruel cronies support his hypocrisy while his very victims see him as a charming though rough liberator.  Drop him,  then take your heavenly escalator.

Remember that domestic violence is always characterized by  coercive control and psychological abuse. Victimization is associated with alterations in the perception of the perpetrator (that hes omnipotent) but also alterations in the victim's perception of self:  self-blame, shame, low self-esteem, extreme melancholy and crying spells combine with defenses to cope like denying the existence or severity of the abuse.  Acts of contrition and intermittent kindness maintain the union and give false hope that this hell  will end but as it continues you'll see his trend and become your own best friend.  For people who witnessed violence in their own family as children will usually imitate it as adults.  There are  conditions that produce stress and conflict such as low income occupations, unemployment or low social support from family or friends that create high levels of stress.  The Zvengali isolates his victims so you must start a friend support system to get out of this mess.  Military men who've  learned to resolve conflict with violence may automatically use it to cope with stress.  From a societal perspective, violence against women has been  accepted by society, law and religion throughout time.  Even now in America traditional male dominance condones  violence for control as women are assumed to be inferior:  One minister said "what did you do to bring this on?"--like as if smashing things was justified.  Subordinated, women become fearfully dependent and subject to demands and abuse of mates which is primarily psychological--like  yelling or humiliating them publicly (e.g. neighbors) thus confirming their one-down status (youre crazy and everyone knows it).  

BREAKING  TRUST

Violence by a person in a position of trust impairs the child's or wifes ability to trust others. Promising to drive safely, slow down and not tailgate--only to do it when the victim's in the car, is an example of breech of trust in families.  Exposure to recurring traumatic experiences in early childhood places a child at much greater risk of long-term psychological, emotional and behavioral problems. The psychological impact is far more far-reaching and surely creates physical symptoms.  If you feel scared, nervous and sick that's  from this abuse.  I have experienced it and took quiet steps to deal with it like establishing a reliable friendship base with trustworthy women who loved God, while continuing to be pleasant and keep perfect house.  There would be no more loud arguments with this man, Id learned my lesson by then so just remained above criticism (with him Id never win).   Foremost I started to build up my self-esteem through diet, yoga and remaining poised.  Of particular importance was not taking the victim role for that put caregivers (even friends) in the superior position which made the problem worse.   I grew up with the goal of superiority by writing this book.  I know women compound their problem by bringing others in to confirm they've  been victimized, rather than just knowing it and calmly taking a new route (no more pout) .  Stop talking about it to those who commiserate, for with the culture it's with splitting you up they have a date.

HOW TO WAIT ON  ESCAPE

Learn to love the Psalms: Because of the voice of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked who  bring down trouble upon me and who  in wrath  hate me.  My heart is severely pained within and the terrors of death have fallen upon me.  Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me and horror has overwhelmed me.  God will hear and afflict them.  Because they do not change, therefore they do not fear God.  The words of his mouth were smoother than butter but war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil yet they were drawn swords.  Cast your burden on the Lord for He shall never permit the righteous to be moved but will bring them down to the pit of destruction; bloodthirsty and deceitful men shall not live out half their days  but I will trust in you.  Be merciful to me for my soul trusts in you and in the shadow of your wings I will make my refuge until these calamities pass.  Reproach the one who would swallow me up for my soul is among lionsI lie with men who are set on fire, whose teeth are spears and arrows and their tongue a sharp sword.  They have prepared a net for my steps; my soul is bowed down; they have dug a pit before me but into the midst of it they themselves have fallen (Psalms 57-59). 

To continue Psalms about your abuser:  The wicked are estranged from the womb; they go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies.  Their poison is like the poison of a serpent; they are like the deaf cobra that will not heed the voice of charmersThe rigtheous shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance; he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wickedscatter them and bring them down, O lord our shield.  For the sin of their mouth and the words of their lips, let them even be taken in their pride and for the cursing and lying which they speakconsume them that they may not be and let them know that God rules. 

SECRET WORLD OF SAFETY

To detach without being hit or humiliated again, live in your own secret world.  You can't change a mean man but you can unchain through a "secret world of safety".  Never let him know how childish, brutish and ignorant he is.  keep your wisdom to yourself and your secret world will be a happy world.  Never try to prove your right, or that you're the victim (because he'll say he is).  Just rely on God to be your champion.  Be careful if you're a lettered or professional woman, and your husband is not, for his ego's at risk and that can bring more psychic violence and withdrawal (even adultery).   In my desert solitude I can turn from man, mass or mess to face the beautiful mountain vistas and suddenly the miraculous moment takes over as all worldly wasters go "strangely dim".  Everyone--both the abuser and mis-advisors--are on probation here for no one can compete with eternity.  This is what we should always turn to when people problems persist.  Go tell it on the mountain so the OUTS dissolve or die and the INS can co-enjoy eternal easy and ecstasy.  I spent time with cats and dogs while my fear and low self-esteem gradually lessened.  Friendship became paramount while waiting on God, and at one moment my chosen became a fabulous sweet prince, from a clod.