System Origins of the Female Hysterical Outburst and Why They Get Sick in Relationships, AKA How Alpha Females Adapt to Manly Men: Heal Yourself to Heal Him. Below are some things victims think at times (sad is the essence of these rhymes). How He Keeps Her Down, How She Keeps Him Down, How the Herd Keeps Us Down and it's all CONTAGIOUS MADNESS
The Pathological Patterns
Introduction to Systems
Theory and the contagious quality of madness
In the New Age of
Tolerance we are bombarded by assumptive language against traditional values. Even Christians buy
these false bases and if someone
discernment they naturally buy the New Age Lie. As
the world pours in assumptive truth claims even
Christian households become dense, destructive and dirty. With traditional gender
roles--the natural division of labor--home life becomes magical, happy, healthy
and educative. There is one coincidence (synchronicity) after another as
happy days comes together like a jigsaw puzzle.
become a living neurotic hell! They have the lowest life expectancy and
the highest suicide rate. With feminism you
don't see life fitting together in wholes so it helps to know your roles:
Women keep house and men shovel coals. In this complementary fit you
have the same goals: it's the convenience of two loving souls and that's
all of married life in a bowl.
Below is the opposite in the CONTAGION OF MADNESS in both families and households. Females fix the foods, males watch your moods:
Purity's the thing--avoid all lewds. Although at the center is the
Christian Marriage we're referring to any system marked by
When the only way to
maintain his love is to hate his guts, I'll tell you the whats: a sexist
relationship with a klutz is only sustainable as a marriage of convenience of
such. For marriage to be convenient start by being lenient.
He recurrently speaks of
"beautiful women" while saying "no offense" and that is the leaven. When
she rebels she's "immature" and he treats her like hell. Though he's fat
and ugly he's "superior", an empty shell.
With these people who put
their projections all over you: don't argue! Be like Indian Sioux:
sweet and silent too. Just do your work, go inside. God will support your
destiny, bonafide. Get dreamy, look to nature outside.
Signs of Manipulation: Sting-Shots and Flip-Flops
He's nice for a week then
its wild violent speech. He makes you feel desolate and sad
like a low-down leech. It's hell loving a creep: heavenly at first,
the sudden downturn is steep. But you married him so now he's a keep.
Recovery and Health: Apprehension with Instability
You were sick with
self-disgust, since he told you you were (stupid and ugly) starting to rust.
But now you're getting hep--it's him that has the bad rep. It's not
just you who hates him, and all along you tried to help him. You've every
reason to be annoyed--now, avoid!
Tunnel-Vision vs. Letting Go
You've been obsessed with
this mess. He paid your way but made you feel less. Now you're out
of the dark it's no more guess. He's a violent touchy beast but in
clarity you're coming to your crest. Haven't you suffered
enough? Just proudly be God's best.
Mundaneity and Isolation
It's a drag walking
on eggs. It's not excitement you feel it's the dreads. You've
only one friend: for you Jesus was bled. You gotta just
get ready--give up this parochial crap to prepare for the feds and global love
(even the reds).
If he's so violent and
cruel just make him your mule. What he's done is just not cool--it's torn
down your health and standards being his fool. Grow up girl and find your own
destiny--for just that you must drool.
Denial of Feelings
You've been denying the
utter horror you're in most of the time, forced to see reality His Way
(tow the line). Wicked men are so unkind. Friend of
mine: See these signs as God aligns, for you're His daughter--for
you He shines.
First and Second Nature
His first nature
was a child. Then early trauma blocked him at that level. His
tantrums are dangerous--for you this means trouble. This shouldn't
pop your bubble but shock you into destiny (it'll be incredible).
The Art of Walking Away Gently
Now you see the
enormous pressure inside him--between who he is, and who he says
he is--and his recurrent outbursts as temporary conflict-resolvers!
So save your dignity and walk away gently (only answer to the ungentlemanly).
Addictions to pain and fear: Zvengali Relationships
Maintained through Low Self-Esteem
He's gotta put you down 'cuz
why else are you with such a clown? But girl you gotta realize
your destiny, for it wasn't for free--you suffered all your life despite
many spending spree. A cold heartless world made you need his
protection--don't you see? Get mentally free though you stay in his
Exploitation of Fears of Rejection
This is how he keeps you
hooked. Though through marriage you're booked so he stays one-up by keeping
you spooked. Withdraw, detach, release with love or hate. Go within, for
with destiny you have a date--and maybe it's this adaptation creating
your eternal fate!
THE BEST FEMALE WRITERS
SUFFERED HORRIBLE EARLY TRAUMA AND REJECTION--why
is this, did writing become their therapy maybe? Example: Taylor Caldwell!
Bad Father Types
Nice at first, soon you
have emotional thirst. He's shown his worst so just go within
while he keeps you pursed. Don't tear your house down or wear a frown.
You've got God on your side, the true wedding gown. Find your
talents--become full grown.
Her dysfunctional past
sets you up to love a phony--the faster he falls in love the quicker he
turns, making you loony. In shame for your outburst you
melt again when he's croony. The sick cycles lull you to sleep, hypnotized and
goony. Go inside and come awake--that's the way to find your destiny.
Manipulation of Guilt
Everything's your fault
when it's in his web you're caught. Think of those sad,
desolate days from his recurrent haze--girl if you don't go inside you'll
turn to rot! Stop focusing on what he's not, just accept a marriage of
convenience and love your self a lot.
Symptoms as Strategies
Sickness is the only way
to escape the heat (it's you, the kids and pets he mistreats). You're ill 'cuz you're bruised
when you speak. You gotta learn to keep things simple--state
your case to the gross oblique then get back up to your peak. Stay away
and be inaccessible. Only silent purity makes your feelings legible.
Sickness and Secondary Gain
He's got a short fuse and
talks during the news--every day you have the blues. You need health
repair and self-focus in solitude.
Re-awake to what God spake and stay away from the rude. When men are
crude they sure change the mood.
The Power of Re-labeled Emotions
From clutter to clarity:
see his game then become a rarity. Know the
difference between fear and love, that there is no parity: You must
recognize the polarity--the sweet feminine vs. vulgar barbarity.
The only fit is your austerity, even Puritan severity. For heavy jobs they
have dexterity so just tolerate the loud silly hilarity.
Girls from Mean Homes like Harsh Guys
They manhandle women,
children and pets. That's 'sposed to turn you on, these macho men like the vets
(like it's only on them the sun sets?) Go inside to
tenderness--good and wholesome as it gets. You've been mis-wired: thinking mean is hot
you've become tired--but alone
you'll be inspired.
Association of Love with Rejection (Pleasure with Pain)
Sometimes it's just a
feeling--did I do something wrong? Or is he influenced by the
throng--did he talk to Tom? These are the highs and lows of marriage, a
happy ride or rocky carriage. Go within: worry is your sin
so stay attractive my friend.
Trouble as an Interactional Strategy
Again girlfriend you're
too focused on him. Go within I keep tellin' ya, obsession with Jim is
your sin! Men keep things running but you've got soul. Obsession
takes it's toll: just be the light in the wilderness, that's your role.
Therapeutic Acting Out
There's no more trouble if
you stay in your bubble. When the gender's clash you're
dealing with clutter and stubble. They make you liable so you get
compliable. That's undeniable but for you, not viable.
Residual Guilt and Manipulation
It hurts so much being
slighted by man. Just rise up in that sexist system, my friend!
Just do your work that you do so well, they'll trust and be your friend
(it's swell). Don't argue, be silent: they're easily pleased and you're no
more frightened (no anger he can just go to hell).
Guilt, Anger, Fear, Remorse and Emotional Outburst
As time goes on you'll see
why you angrily reacted. Don't feel guilt, from what he said & you
abreacted. You've learned that arguing won't work so go mute on the
jerk ( tho' you've a right to your hurt). Silence despite
feelings--no more shouting to the ceilings!
Emotional Outbursts, Money Manipulation,Kleptomania
These things occur when
still focused on him. For the ana genius this is sin. Go
from clutter to clarity then take joy within. Just let him provide
for and call him "friend". Do your job he'll have money to lend.
You must just be beautiful and strong to look up to--to stay feminine, on
God you must depend.
Demanding Trust, Obedience and Seclusion
After his childish
tantrum , he demands she love and trust him again. Say yes then go inside
taking the jerk in your stride, amen. Though romance is no more you
can have joys forevermore as God's wife adored (like kin).
The Manipulation of Emotional Extremes
He lays a net for
you then falls in himself, by killing your love forever. The old coot
finally does himself in, cuz' despite his churchgoing he's still in sin (& he's
not that clever).
Seclusion Combined with Blame-Projections
He felt "honor" as a husband
but his flies caused stink to the whole apothecary. Only his
wife knows who he is and now fully awake makes hay from a marriage of
convenience, through lenience. Divorce is worse so accept it as his
Obsessions, Confusions and Mystifications
When he's with his
friends, you feel left out. Don't pout when you feel this
drought. You must enjoy your own reality--the right-brain route is where
you sprout. Have no doubt and just love God--that's what it's all about.
When things are good ya'
can't recall the bad, and when bad you can't recall the good.
These are sick cycles: SICKLY CYCLICITY keeps your health down and
soul dimmed. It helps to stay slimmed with your life and surroundings
Defective Human Biocomputers
It's not you that's wrong
it's the defective biocomputers all around. Don't wear a frown just sport
a crown as the talk of the town. From your work and Divine Destiny
you'll be renowned, and those idiots rising up against you will now back
Recovery Stages from Zvengali Manipulation
So many sad days
adapting to the louse. It makes you feel fearful and featherless--lower
than a mouse. Anything you say, it's you he'll accost.
Face it girl, with him you're lost. it goes well for awhile then out you're
tossed. What's worse his cronies confirm him--his name is embossed.
Fear of Loss of Structure
When living with the
you fear losing your mind. Keep order yourself being kind then go
within to Glory refined. A marriage of convenience--that's what God
signed. Find your own talents in pseudo-harmony (a real find).
Negative Transference and Rebound Effects
He was married before, he
calls her the Whore. When he transfers hate to you, whole days are blue.
Grow up at these attacks, join our saintly crew. Just wear a poker grin,
forget the divorce (no sue). Be a light in the dark and try to be happy (in
How Psychologists Measure Dependence
These are the signs of Non-Dependence which create panic, explaining your
rolling boat when he gets your goat: no
more eye contact, acting out to
gain attention, dependent compliance
or help sought. Just stay sweet (stay afloat).
Social Learning Free Will
Girl, you've a right to be yourself. If that's the silent home elf,
that's your wealth. When there's anger brewing be like stealth.
With a silent fastarian focus on God, put man problems on the shelf.
Fear of Success: Loneliness
your own world you're never lonely nor bored. Love your man, forget the
horde: he'll love you more if you go inside and this flowering
treasure won't be ignored.
When sad or mad writing verse makes me glad.
Things got so bad adapting to man I let body mysticism cure
it through fig or fruitfat-fasting, amen. I simplified my surroundings,
thinned out and let God protect as I finally took a stand. God will
you finally save me from man?
Keeping Others Down for Identity
Never again would he get a chance to pick fight--as a body mystic I had my
rights. That's lookin' much better and being much higher than dense men
and liars. Alone with God: what a way to retire.
Male Fear of Dependence, Female Fear of Independence
I demanded my right to be unique--I don't care what anyone thinks! They're
all on probation with me, they're as boring and conformist as
can be. Not me--I must be free, and those men (and their female
conspirators) can go climb a tree.
Cycles of Dependence-Independence Conflicts
know the fear, the days of tears. But as time advances I see:
so much is irrelevant--we create it to be. Just enjoy the
seasons of the day, fast and pray. Can you just do this today? (If
not, there's hell to pay, for man will always betray you, I say)
Systems Theory and the Conflict
shows you still think he's real (a "steal"), but he's a heart of stone (cold
steel). You simply must acknowledge what you feel. If
it's sadness and fear, that's a raw deal. In truth you're sad 'cuz he's a
heal (inside, he makes you reel).
Identity Maintained through Sick Dependency
tell him what you think. His thing is tools and mules (it's rinky-dink).
Let silence say it all--that's how you walk tall. He knows what he did
anyway (he took the fall). Just fast and pray--it's God's call.
Negative Labeling of Growth, Health and Creativity
adapting to your private hell, fear makes you powerless (you become a shell):
It's peace at any price (even your body you'll sell) in America's dirty
little secret (it has a smell). If your spouse has shoved, pushed or laid angry
hands on you he could likely kill.
It's a life of horror. But Jesus was persecuted too--pray in
door. When a man
picks you up and throws you to the floor he's worst than sexist,
you're just a whore. He only respects his men
friends--two, three, four or more. You must raise your self-esteem through God
and friends, I implore!
He's isolated you for all these months or years so now it's time to restore. He's hurt you to
the core so why would you want some more?
BECAUSE ALL THIS CAN
CHANGE, LET GOD RE-ARRANGE. IT'S ALL THE CULTURAL INFLUENCE TO
DISPARAGE. JUST GET YOUR HOME IN
ORDER AND SEQUESTER FROM
THE CRUDE WORLD: HAVE YOUR OWN
weren't married, I could just live here just like I always did and enjoy
each minute of the day.
It's the fact that I'm in an
empty marriage that hurts so much. My husband prefers being with
men--carting them around or dithering in restaurants and bars, to being
with me. Men
seem superior to him--just like dogs he wants to be
with the 'superior class".
But these people are NOT superior
to me, they are very boring and using of him. As Juanita Bynum says, "I
may love him but I love myself more" and this "relationship" is dead--a
convenience for him but only at HIS times. I am through with this
boring marriage. it is worse than boring. I'd rather be soaring" Susan
My husband says "every man even married has temptation for other women--they
just don't act on it. This is because we exist in a sinful body,
according to Roman's 7."
R C: What a phony:
"Men are men, boys will be
boys." I can feel your pain, my ex said things like this all the
time. He can't help himself, he's flawed so no one can blame him for
extramarital "temptations" that "he never acts on". Christian wives don't
deserve this hurtful space, never knowing what the cad will say
next. Good luck, Regalia! Joanne
A man is known by his
fruits--if his "fruits" are a desolate, heartbroken day, he's no
Regalia, your man is shit. The fact
that he'd say such a thing makes me sick. He acts depraved because he
doesn't realize how depraved he really is: for if he did he'd act
like a dignified and honorable husband not a nasty man from the world. it
is a distasteful and repugnant statement to make to you his Christian wife.
A FOOL IS KNOWN BY HIS WORDS--R.N.
This guy sounds
passive-aggressive. The phony is in conflict between his real and his false
(social) self, his personna. He releases tension at your expense then
becomes nice until he strikes again. He aggresses on you through passive
devices like "subtle words with a grin" rather than duking it out with his
fists. Although, you do sense demons so as the self-righteous
fool raises his voice you fear he's going to annihilate you. It's the demon inside, probably an ex-cop or military where the
male is superior. Don't take it--the real man is a gentleman. Vernon
AH-HAH. Men of many words--when
they spill their brains you can see who they really are. Chad, NY
R. just say to yourself "God
forgive me for marrying a fool. What he says is so cruel. Save me from
this mule who mistreats the priceless gem as the devil's tool" Roger again
A man like this can't help but
be a fool with his words--he's probably created by the public schools et al. Carol j
Hey--dad used to do this to my
mother: shit-shotting to create bad feelings. It's the same guy pulling
butterfly wings off as a kid--John
prating fool shall fall". Vile men dishonor themselves with their many
words. Though they try to appear good, they always show who they are
eventually. keep up your
Calvinist studies and withdraw from the influence of your idiot husband
without a heart. Your
The true Christian man
knows he's totally depraved so goes out of his way to seem un-depraved
not act like a dirty old man. The egotist can't accept his own
depravity so says hurtful or alarming things to his wife (careless of her
feelings). A true Calvinist never jokes about it for it is no joke. Don
Regalia, this is so germane.
My husband deliberately says hurtful things in a joking way (like his
"human" temptations with women because, after all, "Jesus had
temptation'). Then the phony blames me for starting an argument! As if I
can help my reactions to this giant contradiction in my"Christian
husband". He says he is tempted with other women but never gives into
it "because he's a Christian man". I sense duplicity, like a dirty rascal
with a tie on, and it's dampened my feelings. He loves to quote the Bible
Romans 7, as it justifies his depravity. i would think a Calvinist would
go out of his way to NOT seem depraved, but not so him and i sense
evil. Why would he say things to me to dishonor my feelings, and
create mistrust? i really think women are the weaker sex and should be
respected and protected, not deliberately stung by their husbands. June Kathy U.
Regalia, my ex-husband was a
closet homosexual. He was definitely tempted but didn't act on it (but
compartmentalized it instead: There's a difference). But whenever
"the man" came around my husband would turn on me--and I knew inside. It
wasn't about sex, but so what--he had other affections, that's all. Susanna, New Orleans
Regalia, "Dead flies
cause the ointment to send forth a stinking savour. So Doth a
little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour." My
father was a churchgoer with a bloated self-will ego that hurt his
family constantly with his wicked words. your husband is a total phony
and you may as well face it, for no Christian man would say such a
thing. Phony Churchists are everywhere and nothing will change their
stony phony heart. There is nothing worse than a legalist who thinks he
knows everything and turns your reality black with the contradiction.
Regalia, a wise man's
heart is at his right hand, but a fool's heart is at his left. A fool
walks by and when his wisdom fails he says to every one that he is a
fool. That is your husband--there is nothing worse than a
free-willing egotist revealing what a fool he really is. Find a man
who respects and honors you, girl, E.H.
Regalia, i agree your
husband is a disrespecting, sexist, phony Christian fool. A man like
this can never be trusted in a position of authority, because he is not
responsible for his actions: Since he's "naturally flawed" he can't
help the cruel senseless and careless things he says to you. This is
no Christian man, Regalia--please get hep. Concerned, Mary
Reg, I think he's an
unconscious homosexual. Perhaps being "Christian" he never acts on
these longings for men but looks down on you for your feelings,
deliberately causing you heartbreak. As a "married Christian man" he
has as much honor and dignity as a cockroach--a real dirty rat to say
that to a Christian wife. Rev. Randy W.
think mine is my marriage of convenience.
According to Wikipedia, a marriage of convenience hides one partner's
homosexuality in cases where being openly gay is
punishable or potentially detrimental. A sham marriage may thus create
the appearance of heterosexuality. In the case where a gay man
marries a woman, the woman is said to be his "beard." Oscar Wilde,
Cole Porter and Rock Hudson had such marriages to hide their
homosexuality. To spare you the details, I am sure this is my
marriage. I have decided to stay in it, even though I do not love my
husband because he ruins my reputation in front of others, sometimes
yelling angrily all day long. He has no anger-control whatsoever. He
expects me to "make up" after such episodes, and i do superficially,
but I really see him as a child at the mercy of his own tantrums. I
do not respect this man and never will, nor will I trust him. let him
have his homo-fantasies, even though he doesn't act on them, I really
could care less: I'm just in it for the provision and protection now.
Sometimes a woman has to be wise. Mrs. Atherby, St. Antonio Texas
YOUR ANSWERS: You go girl, sometimes a
woman has to put self-interest first. Romance rarely lasts in a
marriage anyway. The psychologists call it "pseudo-mutuality",
or "pseudo-harmony". Just act nice to get the benefits.
Don't tear your own house down, just maintain order and smile while
going inside to your own world. Watch an old movie, maintain
CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS on the outside. If your husband's a Taliban at
heart, or gay, just look the other way. Kathy.
"In all this talk
about abuse, no one says what the feminist does to provoke it--they just say
"there is never a reason for violence."
Yep that's true--but why else has the violence increased since the fifties?
Men used to respect their wives as 'the little lady'". Feminism has
created petty competition and the fight for dominance ensues even to the point
of adultery used in the ring.
All this domestic violence arrives from loose morals: 'Is there wrath amongst
you? Then there is sin"'. We're a sinking ship as the family tips"