ONE: OVERVIEW

System Origins of the Female Hysterical Outburst and Why They Get Sick in Relationships, AKA How Alpha Females Adapt to Manly Men: Heal Yourself to Heal Him. Below are some things victims think at times (sad is the essence of these rhymes). How He Keeps Her Down, How She Keeps Him Down, How the Herd Keeps Us Down and it's all CONTAGIOUS MADNESS

 

FORMULA

The Pathological Patterns

 

part 1:

 introduction

 

Introduction to Systems Theory and the contagious quality of madness

Feminism is Bad Faith

In the New Age of Tolerance we are bombarded by assumptive language against traditional values. Even Christians buy these false bases  and if someone lacks discernment they  naturally buy the New Age Lie.  As the world pours in assumptive truth claims  even Christian households become dense, destructive and dirty.  With traditional gender roles--the natural division of labor--home life becomes magical, happy, healthy and educative.  There is one coincidence (synchronicity) after another as happy days comes together like a jigsaw puzzle. 

Alternative lifestyles become a living neurotic hell!  They have the lowest life expectancy and the highest suicide rate. With feminism  you don't see life  fitting together in wholes so it helps to know your roles:  Women keep house and men  shovel coals.  In this complementary fit you have the same goals: it's  the convenience of two loving souls and that's all of married life in a bowl. Below is the opposite in the CONTAGION OF MADNESS in both  families and  households.  Females fix the foods, males watch your moods:  Purity's the thing--avoid all  lewds.  Although at the center is the Christian Marriage   we're  referring to any system marked by feuds.

Conditional Love

When the only way to maintain his love is to hate his guts, I'll tell you the whats: a sexist relationship with a klutz is only sustainable as a marriage of convenience of such.  For marriage to be convenient start by being  lenient. 

Verbal Abuse

He recurrently speaks of "beautiful women" while saying "no offense" and that is the leaven.  When she rebels she's "immature" and he treats her like hell.  Though he's fat and ugly he's "superior", an empty shell.

Neurotic Relationships

With these people who put their projections all over you: don't argue!  Be like Indian Sioux:  sweet and silent too.  Just do your work, go inside. God will support your destiny, bonafide.  Get dreamy, look to nature outside.

Signs of Manipulation: Sting-Shots and Flip-Flops

He's nice for a week then its wild violent speech.   He makes you feel desolate and sad  like a low-down leech.  It's hell loving a creep:  heavenly at first, the sudden downturn is steep.  But you married him so now he's a keep.

Recovery and Health: Apprehension with Instability

You were sick with self-disgust, since he told you you were (stupid and ugly) starting to rust.  But now you're getting hep--it's him that has the  bad rep.  It's not just you who hates him, and all along you tried to help him.  You've every reason to  be annoyed--now, avoid!

Tunnel-Vision vs. Letting Go

You've been obsessed with this mess.  He paid your way but made you feel less.  Now you're out of the dark  it's no more guess.  He's a violent touchy beast but in clarity  you're coming  to your crest.  Haven't you suffered enough?  Just proudly be God's best.

Mundaneity and Isolation

It's a drag  walking on eggs.  It's not excitement  you feel it's the dreads.  You've only one friend:  for you Jesus was bled.   You gotta just  get ready--give up this parochial crap to prepare for the feds and global love (even the reds).

Embodied Experience

If he's so violent and cruel just make him your mule.  What he's done is just not cool--it's torn down your health and standards being his fool.  Grow up girl and find your own destiny--for just  that you must drool.

Denial of Feelings

You've been denying the utter horror you're in most of the time, forced to see  reality His Way (tow the line).  Wicked  men are  so unkind.  Friend of mine:   See these signs as God aligns, for you're His daughter--for you He shines.

First and Second Nature

His first nature was a child.  Then early trauma blocked him at that level.  His tantrums are dangerous--for you this  means trouble.  This shouldn't pop  your bubble but shock you into destiny (it'll be  incredible).

The Art of Walking Away Gently

Now you see the enormous pressure inside him--between who he is, and who he says he is--and   his recurrent outbursts as temporary conflict-resolvers!  So save your dignity and walk away gently (only answer to  the ungentlemanly).

part 2:

Sick Systems

Addictions to pain and fear: Zvengali Relationships

Maintained through Low Self-Esteem

He's gotta put you down 'cuz why else are you with such a  clown?  But girl you gotta realize your destiny, for  it wasn't for free--you suffered all your life despite many  spending spree.  A cold heartless world made you need his  protection--don't you see?  Get mentally free though you stay in his tree.

Exploitation of Fears of Rejection

This is how he keeps you hooked.  Though through marriage you're booked so he  stays one-up by keeping you  spooked. Withdraw, detach, release with love or hate.  Go within, for with destiny you have a date--and maybe it's this adaptation creating your eternal fate!

THE BEST FEMALE WRITERS SUFFERED HORRIBLE EARLY TRAUMA AND REJECTION--why is this, did writing become their therapy maybe?  Example: Taylor Caldwell!

Bad Father Types

Nice at first, soon you have emotional thirst.  He's  shown  his worst so  just go within while he keeps you  pursed.  Don't tear your house down or wear a frown.  You've got God on your side, the true wedding gown.  Find your talents--become full grown.

Hyper-Suggestibility

Her dysfunctional past  sets you  up to love a phony--the faster he falls in love the quicker he turns, making you  loony.  In shame for your  outburst you  melt  again when he's  croony.  The sick cycles lull you  to sleep, hypnotized and goony.  Go inside and come awake--that's the  way to find your destiny.

Manipulation of Guilt

Everything's your  fault when it's  in his web you're caught.   Think of those sad, desolate  days from his recurrent haze--girl if you don't go inside you'll turn to rot!  Stop focusing on what he's not, just accept a marriage of convenience and love your self a lot.

Symptoms as Strategies

Sickness is the only way to escape the heat (it's you, the kids and pets he mistreats).  You're  ill 'cuz  you're  bruised  when you speak.  You  gotta learn  to keep things simple--state your case to the gross oblique then get  back up to your peak. Stay away and be inaccessible. Only silent purity makes your feelings legible.

Sickness and Secondary Gain

He's got a short fuse and talks during the news--every day you have the blues.  You need health repair and  self-focus in solitude.   Re-awake to what God spake and  stay away from the rude.  When men are crude they  sure change the  mood.

The Power of Re-labeled Emotions

From clutter to clarity: see his game then  become a rarity. Know  the difference between fear and  love, that  there is no parity:  You must recognize the polarity--the sweet feminine vs. vulgar  barbarity.  The only fit is your  austerity, even Puritan severity.  For heavy jobs they have dexterity so just  tolerate the  loud silly  hilarity.

Girls from Mean Homes like Harsh Guys

They manhandle women, children and pets.  That's 'sposed to turn you on, these macho men like  the vets (like it's only on them the sun sets?)  Go inside to tenderness--good and  wholesome as it gets.  You've been mis-wired:  thinking mean is hot you've become  tired--but alone  you'll be inspired.

Association of Love with Rejection (Pleasure with Pain)

Sometimes it's just a feeling--did I do something wrong?  Or is he  influenced by the throng--did he talk to Tom?  These are the highs and lows of marriage, a happy ride or rocky carriage.  Go within: worry  is your sin so stay attractive  my friend.

Trouble as an Interactional Strategy

Again girlfriend you're too focused on him.  Go within I keep tellin' ya, obsession with Jim is your sin!  Men keep things running  but you've  got soul. Obsession takes it's toll: just be the light in the wilderness, that's your role.  

Therapeutic Acting Out

There's no more trouble if you stay in your bubble. When the gender's  clash you're dealing with clutter and stubble.  They make you liable so you get compliable.  That's undeniable but for you, not viable.

Residual Guilt and Manipulation

It hurts so much being  slighted by man.  Just rise up in that  sexist system, my friend!  Just do your work that you do so well,  they'll trust and be your friend (it's swell).  Don't argue, be silent: they're easily pleased and you're no more frightened (no anger he can just go to hell). 

Guilt, Anger, Fear, Remorse and Emotional Outburst

As time goes on you'll see why you angrily reacted.  Don't  feel guilt, from what he said & you abreacted.  You've learned that arguing won't work  so go mute on the jerk ( tho' you've a right to your hurt).  Silence despite  feelings--no  more shouting  to the ceilings!

Emotional Outbursts, Money Manipulation,Kleptomania

These things occur when still focused on him.  For the ana genius this is  sin.  Go  from clutter to clarity then take joy  within.  Just let him provide for and call him  "friend".  Do your job he'll have money to lend.  You must just be beautiful and strong to look up to--to stay  feminine, on God you must depend.

Demanding Trust, Obedience and Seclusion

After  his childish tantrum , he demands she love and trust him again.  Say yes then go inside  taking the jerk  in your stride, amen.  Though romance is no more you can have joys forevermore as God's wife adored (like kin).

The Manipulation of Emotional  Extremes

He lays  a net for you then falls in himself, by killing your  love forever.  The old coot finally does himself in, cuz' despite his churchgoing he's still in sin (& he's not that clever).

Seclusion Combined with Blame-Projections

He felt "honor" as a husband but his  flies caused  stink to the whole apothecary.  Only his wife knows who he is and now fully awake  makes hay from a marriage of convenience, through lenience.  Divorce is worse so accept it as his malfeasance.

Obsessions, Confusions and Mystifications

When he's with his friends, you feel left out.  Don't pout when you  feel this emotional  drought.  You must enjoy your own reality--the right-brain route is where you sprout.  Have no doubt and just love God--that's what it's all about.

Cyclical Amnesia

When things are good ya' can't recall  the bad, and when  bad you can't recall  the good. These are sick cycles:  SICKLY CYCLICITY  keeps your health down and  soul dimmed.  It helps to stay slimmed with your life and surroundings well-trimmed. 

Defective Human Biocomputers

It's not you that's wrong it's the defective biocomputers all around.  Don't wear a frown just sport  a crown as  the talk of the town.  From your work and Divine Destiny you'll be renowned, and those idiots rising up against you will now back down.

Recovery Stages from Zvengali Manipulation

So many sad days adapting to the louse.  It makes you feel fearful and featherless--lower than a mouse.  Anything you say, it's you he'll accost.  Face it girl, with him you're lost.  it goes well for awhile then out you're tossed.  What's worse his cronies confirm him--his name is embossed.

Fear of Loss of Structure

When living with the unkind  you fear losing your mind.  Keep order yourself being kind  then go within to Glory refined.  A marriage of convenience--that's what God signed.  Find your own talents in pseudo-harmony (a real find).

Negative Transference and Rebound Effects

He was married before, he calls her the Whore.  When he transfers hate to you, whole days are blue.  Grow up at these attacks, join our saintly crew.  Just wear a poker grin, forget the divorce (no sue).  Be a light in the dark and try to be happy (in lieu).

How Psychologists Measure Dependence

These are the signs of Non-Dependence which create panic, explaining your rolling boat  when he gets your goat: no more eye contact,  acting out to gain attention, dependent compliance or  help sought.  Just stay sweet (stay afloat).

Social Learning Free Will 

Girl, you've a right to be yourself.  If that's the silent  home elf,  that's your wealth.  When there's anger brewing  be like stealth.  With a silent fastarian  focus on God, put man problems on the shelf.

Fear of Success: Loneliness

In your own world you're never lonely nor bored.  Love your man, forget the horde:  he'll love you more if you  go inside and  this flowering treasure won't  be ignored. 

When sad or mad writing verse makes me glad. 

Things got so bad adapting to man I  let body mysticism cure it through fig or fruitfat-fasting, amen.   I simplified my surroundings,  thinned out  and let God protect as I finally took a stand.  God will you finally  save me from man?

Keeping Others Down for Identity

Never again would he get a  chance to pick fight--as a body mystic I had my rights.  That's lookin' much better and being much higher than dense men and liars.  Alone  with God: what a way to retire.

Male Fear of Dependence, Female Fear of Independence

I demanded my right to be unique--I don't care what anyone thinks!  They're all  on probation with me, they're  as boring and conformist as  can be.  Not me--I must be free, and those men (and their female conspirators) can go climb a tree.

Cycles of Dependence-Independence Conflicts

I know the fear, the days of tears.  But as time advances  I see:  so much is irrelevant--we create  it to be.  Just enjoy the seasons of the day, fast and pray.  Can you just do this today?  (If not, there's hell to pay, for man will always betray you, I say)

Systems Theory and the Conflict

Discussing it  shows you still think he's real (a "steal"), but he's a heart of stone (cold steel).  You simply must acknowledge what you feel.  If it's sadness and fear, that's a raw deal.  In truth you're sad 'cuz he's a heal (inside, he makes you reel).

Identity Maintained through Sick Dependency

Never tell him what you think.  His thing is tools and mules (it's rinky-dink).  Let silence say it all--that's how you walk tall.  He knows what he did anyway (he took the fall).  Just fast and pray--it's God's call. 

Negative Labeling of Growth, Health and Creativity

In adapting to your private hell, fear makes you powerless (you become a shell): It's peace at any price (even your body you'll  sell) in America's dirty little secret (it has a smell).  If your spouse has shoved, pushed or laid angry hands on you   he could likely kill.

It's a life of horror.  But Jesus was persecuted too--pray in that door.  When a man picks you up and throws you to the floor  he's worst than sexist,  you're just  a whore.  He only respects his men friends--two, three, four or more.  You must raise your self-esteem through God and friends, I implore!  He's isolated you for all these months or years so now it's time to restore.  He's hurt you to the core so why would you want some more? 

BECAUSE ALL THIS CAN CHANGE, LET GOD RE-ARRANGE.  IT'S ALL THE CULTURAL INFLUENCE TO DISPARAGE. JUST GET YOUR HOME IN ORDER AND  SEQUESTER FROM THE CRUDE WORLD:  HAVE YOUR OWN PARRISH.

part 3:

 health and recovery

YOUR COMMENTS

 ON DISTRACTION

QUESTION: 'If I weren't married, I could just live here just like I always did and  enjoy each minute of the day.  It's the fact that I'm in an empty marriage that hurts so much.  My husband prefers being with men--carting them around or dithering in restaurants and bars,  to being with me.   Men seem superior to him--just like dogs he wants to be with the 'superior class".  But these people are NOT superior to me, they are very boring and using of him.  As Juanita Bynum says, "I may love him but I love myself more"  and this "relationship" is dead--a convenience for  him but only at HIS times.  I am through with this boring marriage.  it is worse than boring.  I'd rather be soaring" Susan

QUESTION:  My husband says "every man even married has temptation for other women--they just don't act on it.  This is because we exist in a sinful body, according to Roman's 7."  Regalia Ceverto

YOUR ANSWERS:  R C: What a phony:  "Men are men, boys will be boys."  I can feel your pain, my ex said  things like this  all the time. He can't  help himself, he's flawed so no one can blame him for  extramarital "temptations" that "he never acts on".  Christian wives don't deserve this hurtful space, never knowing what the cad will say next.   Good luck, Regalia!  Joanne

A man is known by his fruits--if his "fruits" are a desolate, heartbroken day, he's no Christian, no-way!  Cherro

Regalia, your man is shit.  The fact that he'd say such a thing makes me sick.  He acts depraved because  he doesn't realize how depraved he really is:  for if he did  he'd act like a dignified and honorable husband not a nasty man from the world.   it is a distasteful and repugnant  statement to make to you his Christian wife.  Henry R.

A FOOL IS KNOWN BY HIS WORDS--R.N.

This guy sounds passive-aggressive.  The phony is in conflict between his real and his false (social) self, his personna. He releases tension at your expense then becomes nice until he strikes again.  He aggresses on you through passive devices like "subtle words with a grin" rather than duking it out with his fists. Although, you do sense demons so as the self-righteous fool raises his voice  you fear he's going to annihilate you.  It's the demon inside, probably an ex-cop or military where the male is superior.  Don't take it--the real man is a gentleman.  Vernon

AH-HAH.  Men of many words--when they spill their brains you can see who they really are.  Chad, NY

R. just say to yourself "God forgive me for marrying a fool.  What he says is so cruel.  Save me from this mule who mistreats  the priceless gem  as the devil's tool"  Roger again

A man like this can't help but be a fool with his words--he's probably created by the public schools et al.  Carol j

Hey--dad used to do this to my mother:  shit-shotting to create bad feelings.  It's the same guy pulling butterfly wings off as a kid--John

Reg, "A prating fool shall fall".  Vile men dishonor themselves with their many words.  Though they try to appear good, they always show who they are eventually.  keep up your Calvinist studies and withdraw from the influence of your idiot husband without a heart. Your friend Pietro

The true Christian man knows he's totally depraved so  goes out of his way to seem un-depraved not act like a dirty old man.  The egotist can't accept his own depravity so says  hurtful or alarming things to his wife (careless of her feelings).   A true Calvinist never jokes about it for it is no joke.  Don

Regalia, this is so germane.  My husband deliberately says hurtful things in a joking way (like his "human" temptations with women because, after all,  "Jesus had temptation').  Then the phony blames me for starting an argument!  As if I can help my reactions to this giant contradiction in my"Christian husband".    He says he is tempted with other women but  never gives into it "because he's a Christian man".  I sense duplicity, like a dirty rascal with a tie on, and it's dampened my feelings.  He loves to quote the Bible Romans 7, as it  justifies his depravity.  i would think a Calvinist would go out of his way to NOT seem depraved, but not so him and i sense evil. Why would he say things to me to dishonor my feelings, and create mistrust?   i really think women are the weaker sex and should be respected and protected, not deliberately stung by their husbands.   June Kathy U.

Regalia, my ex-husband was a closet homosexual.  He was definitely tempted but didn't act on it (but compartmentalized it instead:  There's a difference).  But whenever "the man" came around my husband would turn on me--and I knew inside.  It wasn't about sex, but so what--he had other affections, that's all.  Susanna,  New Orleans

Regalia,  "Dead flies cause the ointment to send forth a stinking savour.  So Doth a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom and honour."  My father was a churchgoer with a bloated self-will ego that  hurt his family constantly with his wicked words.  your husband is a total phony and you may as well face it, for no Christian man would say such a thing.  Phony Churchists are everywhere and nothing will change their stony phony heart.  There is nothing worse than a legalist who thinks he knows everything and turns your reality black with the contradiction.  Clarence K.

Regalia, a  wise man's heart is at his right hand, but a fool's heart is at his left. A fool walks by and when his wisdom fails he says to every one that he is a fool. That is your husband--there is nothing worse than a free-willing egotist revealing what a fool he really is.    Find a man who respects and honors you, girl, E.H.

Regalia, i agree your husband is a disrespecting, sexist, phony Christian fool.  A man like this can never be trusted  in a position of authority, because he is not responsible for his actions:  Since he's "naturally flawed" he can't help  the cruel senseless and careless things he says to you.  This is no Christian man, Regalia--please get hep.  Concerned, Mary

Reg,  I think he's  an unconscious homosexual.  Perhaps being "Christian" he never acts on these longings for men but looks down on you for your feelings, deliberately causing you heartbreak.  As a "married Christian man" he has as much honor and dignity as a  cockroach--a real dirty rat to say  that to a Christian wife.  Rev.  Randy W.

QUESTION:   I think mine is my marriage of convenience.  According to Wikipedia, a marriage of convenience hides one partner's homosexuality in cases where being openly gay is punishable or potentially detrimental. A sham marriage may thus create the appearance of heterosexuality.  In the case where a gay man marries a woman, the woman is said to be his "beard."  Oscar Wilde, Cole Porter and Rock Hudson had such marriages to hide their homosexuality.  To spare you the details, I am sure this is my marriage.  I have decided to stay in it, even though I do not love my husband because he ruins my reputation in front of others, sometimes yelling angrily all day long.  He has no anger-control whatsoever.  He expects me to "make up" after such episodes, and i do superficially, but I really see him as a child at the mercy of his own tantrums.  I do not respect this man and never will, nor will I trust him.  let him have his homo-fantasies, even though he doesn't act on them, I really could care less: I'm just in it for the provision and protection now.  Sometimes a woman has to be wise.  Mrs. Atherby, St. Antonio Texas

YOUR ANSWERS:  You go girl, sometimes a woman has to put self-interest first.  Romance rarely lasts in a marriage anyway.  The psychologists call it "pseudo-mutuality", or "pseudo-harmony".  Just act nice to get the benefits.  Don't tear your own house down, just maintain order and smile while going inside to your own world.  Watch an old movie, maintain CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS on the outside.  If your husband's a Taliban at heart, or gay, just look the other way.  Kathy.

 "In all this talk about abuse, no one says what the feminist does to provoke it--they just say "there is never a reason for violence."  Yep that's true--but why else has the violence increased since the fifties?  Men used to respect their wives  as 'the little lady'".   Feminism has created petty competition and the fight for dominance ensues even to the point of  adultery used in the ring.  All this domestic violence arrives from loose morals: 'Is there wrath amongst you?  Then there is sin"'.  We're a sinking ship as the family tips" Yaeger, Neb.

 KAREN KELLOCK